Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
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You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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