If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
