I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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