Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The air was thick with penises
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am one with the molecules
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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