What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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