I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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