question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You ruined the universe
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
