You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
