She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
