Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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