i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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