I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
