You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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