Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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