PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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