i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
