would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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