Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize