last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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