conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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