OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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