when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The best revenge is premature balding
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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