Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
