I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
