Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
