i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
