And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize