You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
