u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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