haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
