She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize