Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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