I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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