They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
