He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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