the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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