So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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