ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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