Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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