Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So much rum. So many feels.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
