living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
