break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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