y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
