i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
