If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
