just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
