I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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