My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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