remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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