i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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