I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
