There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
