so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
