dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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